This was one of the first poetry forms I attempted and when I started this poetry challenge it was one of the forms I decided wasn’t suitable. Because it’s difficult to get right. Not impossible, but you need to work at it. However, since this challenge began, I know I have become much more at ease with different forms of poetry and not so easily daunted. The forms I’ve been using in the challenges are far more difficult now than they were in the beginning, so I’m supposing that you have gained in confidence as much as I have.
To cut the blather short, this week’s challenge is to write a ghazal. Shadow poetry explains it better than I can, though I should point out that another version of ‘the rules’ explains that there is no fixed syllable count per line, but each line must be the same length. Also, the first and second lines end on a rhyme, not necessarily the same word. Oh, and although rhythm isn’t obligatory, it’s so much nicer (and more complicated 🙂 ) to get a flow going. And one last apology—I don’t like the last rule about the final stanza referring to the poet’s name. I keep well out of my poems and I won’t mind if you do the same.
A ghazal is a love poem, so it has to be about…love. I’ve added a theme if you want one:
and the image is an enigmatic one—an androgynous Dawn who doesn’t look too happy about the new day beginning.
As usual, you almost a week to write your poem. Just post it in the comments before next Tuesday.
Scattered like ashes at break of the day,
The cracks at dawn reveal love blown away.
Our fumbling hands try to stem the dark flow
From our hearts’ broken seal, love blown away.
Back to back, bitterness gnaws on grief’s bones,
As if tears could repeal love blown away.
I look in your eyes, the light has not died,
In a nightmare unreal, love blown away.
Soft light of morning may show where love fled,
And we find, once wounds heal, love blown away.
85 thoughts on “Poetry challenge #44: Ghazal”
Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
Thanks for reblogging 🙂
I had a feeling you might choose this form. 🙂 I’m glad you did. I might not try it without the challenge.
Yours is lovely. I like “love blown away.”
It was hard to get the rhythm, but I’m glad you like the result. Glad to be pushing back the limits too—we need it!
A great poem Jane, and even better to hear you’re feeling more confident with your poetry; you should do!
I love hearing about the different styles out there, especially seeing people attempt them.
You ought to have a go. It’s all writing, and I think it helps with sorting out images, the way words fit together, what makes a phrase lyrical, attractive, all the subtle workings of language.
I did used to dabble in poetry, when I was younger, but I bet looking back it would be a cringey mess… I’m interested to give it another go, just never know where to start! 🙂
It’s like paddling. You pretend you’re not really interested in the sea, the waves and whatnot, then you see something shining in the sand at your feet…and you’re away 🙂
You make poetry sound so… poetic 😉 I might go for a paddle when I see a prompt that gets my inspiration up!
Poetry is all the bits of prose you fall in love with and the editor says ‘cut!’.
I love your Ghazal, Jane 🙂
I’ve been watching over the last few months, a spectator you might call me, and thought today, instead of watching, I would attempt to contribute. I’ll start by saying I’m not a poet, but, I do love what words can do, how they can make people feel, how raw some words can make emotions birth from ones self. That last line sounded a bit rubbish, but anyway, I’ve had a crack, I hope it fits 👍
Why don’t you write one?
Will try this weekend.
Never been one for rules.
Look on them as guidelines. It’s easy for free verse to become just an excuse to run on without giving the thoughts any order or subtlety.
Thank you for another challenging prompt! You’re right – it’s hard to make a ghazal that moves as fluidly as yours does. https://fmmewritespoems.wordpress.com/2016/08/17/dawn-ghazal-for-jane-dougherty
Aaaaand it’s back to the doom and gloom=) https://fantasyraconteur.wordpress.com/2016/08/18/crimson-dawn/
Your ghazal has a great rhythm and the refrain is beautiful. Love it!
I wasn’t sure I could cope with any of your utterances this morning—crimson dawns, seen far too many of them lately—but I braved it out, and loved it 🙂
Thank you again, Jane=) I mean yeah, it’s not that dark… God knows I’ve written worse.
Yours ends beautifully, Jane.
Mine is dark through to the end.
I don’t know. You leave the possibility of understanding open. I took it as a hopeful poem.
True. Seeking resolution.
Getting in early so I can take off for the wedding!
You knock them out of the box!
You sure kicked this ghazal’s backside!!!
Thanks for airport distraction. Will wave into the Irish waters for you from Killiney xx
Drop me a few kisses too 🙂 Ghazals hold no terrors for me now. You though, have yet to get the wrapping paper off.
Wow! A tough form! I’ve been chewing on this for a few days. Thanks as always Jane for a worthy challenge! kat
It is a tough one. After my first attempt I vowed, never again. But it gets easier. If you don’t stick to absolutely all the rules…
I definitely felt tugged to bend the rules a bit! Good challenge! 🙂
If it isn’t hurting, it isn’t working 🙂
That’s a good one. I’ll remember that! 🙂
It’s British. Don’t ask me where it comes from though.
Took your challenge ultimately. My first attempt. I also translated the poem to my mother tongue. Not sure ping back works or not, so here is the link.
I’m glad you translated the poem. Not that I understand Assamese, but I do understand the mechanism that urges anyone with two languages to render their words in both of them.
This was the most difficult one yet, I think. I’m not sure if I quite got the form or not, but here it is. 🙂
It is tricky. That rhyme just before the refrain has to make sense or the whole thing falls apart.
Yes, that was very tricky!
I’m back again. Attempting to attune!
I’ve been a bit of a deviant though with my too long refrain but I’ve really enjoyed working to such s strict structure!
I’m off now! Ireland, wedding, family, holiday!! Enjoy your weekend my dear x
You too. Not too much cake mind 🙂
Ah, Jane. Here you go. I already wrote a love poem this week, so this is something a little less about love. Also, I ignored the lovely picture although it certainly has a melancholy air to it.
Updated to follow the rules as closely as possible. I do not think I could stick to the syllables rule though.
Thanks for the challenge ( and challenging me to take the plunge). Read many beautiful poems as a result of trying this new(for me) form.
Forgot my updated link. Here it is : http://wp.me/p73yZZ-2fd
I almost didn’t do this one but I couldn’t pass up the challenge. It was tough. https://learawrites.wordpress.com/2016/08/21/love-at-dawn/
Take 2! https://learawrites.wordpress.com/2016/08/22/love-at-dawn-ii/
I almost didn’t try–it’s such a unique and old form. But in the end I gave it a go using something else I had been writing as a base. Thanks for bringing the form to the challenge 🙂 I’ll post my efforts tomorrow morning.
Thanks for having a go, Janice. I hope you’ve noticed in the instructions about the in-line rhyme scheme. Many people haven’t. That is the part that I found the hardest to get right.
I’m just reading this after having posted. I’ll take a look back. The route I took with one last word repeating isn’t my favourite…I would try for something a bit more interesting next time perhaps with a varied previous word rhyming all the way down for example.
It’s one of those forms that is extremely rigid in its structure. You either get it right or you don’t. Sometimes I feel it’s better to dump it and use another form if the words just won’t fit. It’s a challenge, certainly, but the result has to satisfy the poet too 🙂
My impression is that the form is complex but that Western poets have allowed themselves great liberties with its form and thematic content…at least that is my impression from my limited scan of the ghazal universe. There’s a link on my post that might be of interest.
I’m sure you’re right. Since our family of languages is so different to oriental languages, the structure of poetry is bound to be almost impossible to replicate between them.
I just came back and now I see your inner rhyme before the three word refrain…very nice 🙂 I would try for something like that next time.
The hard part is getting the rhyme and the refrain to make sense. Often it sounds better if you change the first word of the refrain especially if it’s a preposition. Someone mentioned that it’s acceptable. It certainly loosens it up a little.
I find structural concerns can be really daunting on top of just having something to say…and I think I prefer variations such as you described.
I have been doing forms this weekend so this was a pleasant change to add this one – and full of admiration for you attempting it…and running this.
I astonish myself sometimes—how I ever had the nerve! Thanks for joining it 🙂
I am busy revising . I noticed when I re read yours which I enjoyed very much, the internal rhyme…I missed that bit.
It’s very strange, but almost everyone has missed that part. The trickiest bit of all!
Maybe subconsciously we saw it. lol
I suspect you’re right— a case of ignoring what we don’t want to see 🙂
https://writingasitcomes.wordpress.com/2016/08/22/dawn/ I revised it, if it matters. Thank you.
I want to have a guest post in ur blog of my shayaries & ghazals.
do u have such provision.if yes,then how can I do so..& if no..then can please suggest where I can post as a guest blogger or can give some links those bloggers with large no of followers & who allows guest posts
Sorry, but I don’t do guest posts at the moment because I don’t have the time. Offhand I can’t think of anyone who does offer specific poetry guest posts. Look through your reader with the tag ‘poetry guest post’ and see what you get. There must be bloggers who will host you. Good luck 🙂
Yours is spectacular! Where I live, we listen to a lot of ghazals (they compose it as a song), I’ve written a few but they are not ready to be published yet… Will someday!
It’s a difficult form to write. I don’t attempt it often. I’m pleased you like this one 🙂