The wind blows bleak

For the dverse prompt. I do love a triolet. Thank you, Frank!

 

The wind blows bleak and wild today,

And blossoms falling cloud with white

The rain-soaked earth, the heavy clay.

The wind blows bleak and wild today;

Gusts bend the kestrelโ€™s wings away.

While spring rain falls through silver light,

The wind blows bleak and wild; today

Plum blossom falls in clouds of white.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

61 thoughts on “The wind blows bleak”

  1. You are the queen of the triolets, Jane! I can picture the scene clearly, the bleak, wild wind, the blossoms falling on the heavy clay, and the kestrel, its wings bending in the wind. I love how the repeated lines bend in the wind too.

    1. Thanks Kim. I love watching the kestrels. We’re lucky in having a telephone wire running parellel with the hedge opposite my window. There’s always a kestrel on it, in between hunting over the meadow.

      1. Magpies! We get loads of them. I know they deserve as much love as all the rest, but when I see them close to the house I’m afraid I chase them away. They got all the blackbird’s chicks last year. I know the blackbirds are daft and nest in silly places, but those magpies hounded the poor mother until she left the nest to chase them and bingo, no chicks.

      2. We only get one or two magpies in our garden. The cats are scared of them, but then they’re scared of the dopey pheasants. Plenty of blackbirds around at the moment, but I haven’t spotted any nesting going on.

      3. They’re looking for nesting sites at the moment, but the magpies get to be a problem as soon as the eggs are laid. The thrushes don’t stand for any nonsense from them but the blackbird hen panics.

  2. A very smooth triolet, rolling out buffeted by wind beneath the kestrel’s wings. You are certainly comfortable using this form. But like Frank mentioned, it’s stylish, but it shares less of its message than even a tanka.

  3. I could actually hear a melody in your writing. It most likely was one I imposed onto it from someone elseโ€™s song. Your rhythm worked well with it. Lovely

  4. Great write. Just think how lovely it could be if not restricted to the macheavelian restriction of the triolet!

  5. This is lovely–the kestrels at the center, the repeated wind lines. Somehow though, the poem doesn’t sound bleak. Perhaps because the images are so lovely, and the poem ends with the falling plum blossoms in clouds of white. I imagine someone inside and cozy watching it all from a window. Well, that would be me, so. . . ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Thank you! I know what you mean, bleak is just our perception, or perhaps just an adjective that fits visually, but as President Mitterand said, there’s no good weather or bad weather, it’s all just weather.
      Yes, I’m sure you told me that while we were watching the kestrels ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you. I’m glad you agree about the use of rhythm. A lot of people find only ‘constraints’ in meter, they don’t see how rhythm contributes to a poem, adds to it, and becomes an actor in its own right. Same for rhyme. They see it as burdensome but applaud alliteration. It’s much the same effect, but alliteration is easier than finding good rhymes.

  6. Reblogged this on Journeys in the Attic and commented:
    This is my introduction to triolets. I keep humming a tune with it because the rhythm and words are so lovely even thoโ€™ it is supposed to be bleak. I look forward to reading the rest of the entries for the prompt Hope all who read this enjoy it.

    1. Thank you, Dwight! I usually go to wikipedia for advice on poems because as well as the explanation there are examples. Often I find that the different poetry foundations etc are rather dogmatic about their own particular version. Wikipedia is more open minded ๐Ÿ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s