For Colleen Chesebro’s weekly challenge.
stories walk my dreams
with thudding tread in the attic
in piercing night calls through the rain
and I half-wake
in a mansion of my imagining
#Tanka Tuesday: gogyohka for a story
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For Colleen Chesebro’s weekly challenge.
stories walk my dreams
with thudding tread in the attic
in piercing night calls through the rain
and I half-wake
in a mansion of my imagining
of a son
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That kind of half dream state fascinates me. I wish I remembered the ideas I come up with in my dreams. 🙂
Mine have just been mad lately. I leave them be.
🙂
Absolutely stunning, Jane, masterful💜
Thank you, Willow!
All true
🙂
I deed
The treading in the attic and the mansion have me thinking of the mind palace, the construct of belief and practice in organizing all our mind for access. I’m not sure how much I buy that. Your mansion is made up of dreams and thudding, “piercing night calls.” That seems more like it.
Sorry! This is another comment of yours that didn’t come to my comment box. There’s a loose connection there somewhere. No, I don’t like the idea of the mind being like some kind of theme park that anyone can enter to have a look at, not even the person whose mind it is! Why do we always want to ‘know’ the answers to everything? It isn’t as if we believe truths that aren’t what we want to hear.
Sanity
Ah, the dreams we see
And the lies we live
Only to wake up to
Shattered reality
Demolishing castles of fantasy
Let the dreams lie
Where it belongs
Will sneak in
From time to time
To preserve our sanity
© Pranab Sarma, 2020
P.S. wrote this today morning to post on my blog but before that I saw your poem. So here it is.
Now going back to reality.(•‿•)
You were dreaming too 🙂 I’m not sure which preserves sanity, the dreaming or the waking.
In an insane world, sanity lives in the realm of fantasy where the Hogwarts and middle earth rule.
I know where I’d rather be.
😀😀
I really like your poem. I’ve never written a gogyohka before. I must try this form of poetry.
Thank you. It’s easy. If you like short forms but don’t like the restrictions of tanka (I just don’t really understand the tanka rules) this is a good form, just five phrases, as you’d speak them, the phrase being the words that clump together between breaths. Sometimes it’s just one word. Depends how it sounds.
Thanks so much for explaing the form to me. I love writing haiku’s and senryu’s.
It’s a lot simpler than haiku, just say what you want to say without worrying about the hinge thingy or the season word etc.
YES!!!! This is the perfect Gogyohka! Did you know that this form is how Tanka in Japanese are written? The secret is still in the syllables (not too many) and how it sounds when spoken. I’d love to use this in my book, Jane. It belongs to you. I’ll add your name in the Bibliography as the author. ❤
Thanks Colleen! I’m pleased you like it so much. I didn’t know that about the tanka form, it’s always seemed a tricky one to me.
Yes, I’d be thrilled for you to use it. I posted a gogyohka yesterday I think I like better. If you want to look
https://janedougherty.wordpress.com/2020/03/02/gogyohka-for-a-wild-morning/
Thank you! I might use both! ❤
Double thrill 🙂
Yes!! Thanks so much. 😀
🙂
Awesome Jane. Love it. ❤
Thanks Marje 🙂
Reblogged this on Where Genres Collide Traci Kenworth YA Author & Book Blogger for all Genres as well as craft books and commented:
Another like!
Thank you, Traci 🙂
You’re welcome, Jane!
🙂
Really good. I have distinctive experiences like that ,in my dreams too
Thank you, Larry. Dreams seem to be a strange mixture of what is real experience and what the mind is working on to make real, like a story, a scene from a film, a daydream wish.